Tohru and the 7 Zodiacs
by vampire cuttlefish
Summary: This is a silly, pointless fic script format...sorry. Oneshot. Please read...and review! I hope everyone likes it and REVIEWS NICELY! ENJOY ENJOY! Tohru and the Sohma house put on a play called Snow White and the 7 Dwarveschibis! Hooray! Please read if y


Tohru and the 7 Zodiacs  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or Snow White and the Seven Dwarves...  
  
Tanuki-san: This will be in script format because it is cute! Please  
forgive my crazy story and be nice with your reviews. Basically, the fruits  
basket gang is putting on a school play! I'm going to try to make it cute.  
Here are the parts...  
Tohru= Snow White (that part was hard to think up (*Sarcasm*)  
Yuki= Prince Charming One  
Kyo= Prince Charming Two  
Momiji, Shigure, Ayame, Hatori, Kagura, Kisa, and Haru= The dwarves...or  
chibis...they will be chibi...I like chibi better....  
  
Momiji: Hooray! I get to be chibi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kisa: *blush* Kawaii...  
  
Shigure: *Laughing loudly* BYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!  
  
Kyo: Why does Yuki have to be a prince too?  
  
Yuki: I wouldn't be talking. You're not dignified enough for this part.  
  
Kyo: YES I AM!!!! @#%*&@~!!!!!!  
  
Kagura: STOP YELLING!!!! *bangs Kyo*  
  
Tohru: um....we should start...  
  
Tanuki: *threateningly holds up a clown hat and a pop tart* STOP BEING  
WEIRD!! START THE PLAY!!!!!  
  
*Everyone gets quiet and sets up the scene*  
  
~SCENE ONE~  
  
Tohru: Oh I'm being wasted away by my evil step mom. Oh woe and pain....And  
sadness...and not very cuddliness *Tohru checks the script and continues as  
she wipes the stage with her rag* So I must clean with this rag. And the  
rag is green and green is bad. I don't like cleaning with a green rag.  
  
*Tohru looks hesitantly at her script, then continues cleaning in silence*  
  
Kyo: *from offstage* What the @#%&? Who wrote this lame script?  
  
Tanuki: I did! I like it!  
  
Kyo: It has nothing to do with snow white at all!  
  
Yuki: Maybe we should make this up as we go...  
  
Tanuki: How about one scene of my script? Please?  
  
Kyo: *looks at a glaring Kagura* .........................Fine................  
  
Tanuki: *Peace sign* Hooray! I win!!!  
  
*Akito enters and glares at the script*  
  
Akito: I am the wood cutter. I shall take you to the meadow by order of the  
evil queen (Hana-chan) and there I will kill you. Only you're not supposed  
to know that I'm going to kill you because you'll run away if I tell you...  
Yes and I will kill you with a knife and hide your body....somewhere  
hidden...Only pretend you don't know that...  
  
*Akito leads Tohru off*  
  
*Kyo and Yuki enter*  
  
Kyo: *glare* Prince Kyo is here to save the princess because I'm cool.  
  
Yuki: *sweat drop* Oh princessy save day. It is time to save the princess.  
  
Kyo: (this script is so lame) Hark. Yonder. I am using old english. The  
wood cutter is in the meadow with Tohru...I mean Snow White.........  
  
Yuki: *reluctantly looks at his wrist as if looking at a watch* Time to  
save Snow White....Yes I shall win...  
  
Kyo: WHHHHAAAAATTTT!!?!?!?!? I'M SAVING TOHRU!!! Oh...*stares at a demon  
tanuki* Avast my rival! I shall win Tohru's blood pumping heart. pause  
dramatically with your head bowed.  
  
Tanuki: NOOOOOO!!! WRONG!!! *runs over knocking down scenary* You don't say  
the stage blocking! BAKA!!!!!!  
  
Kyo: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR SCRIPT STINKS!!!! I DEMAND A NEW SCRIPT!!!!!!  
  
Tanuki: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Yuki: Next scene....  
  
~SCENE TWO~  
  
Tanuki: Next Scene!!!!  
  
Tohru: La la la la la. I am singing on stage... only this is a play and  
I'm not supposed to break character...  
  
Akito: rarrr... bad guy with a knife attack...  
  
Tohru: *fake scream* Oh...I am frightened...cry and throw a tantrum...etc....  
  
Akito: Yes. Stabbing knife but you're the princess so I don't want to  
kill you...so I shall replace your dead body with a potholder so the  
queen won't notice.......  
  
Kyo: WHAT THE #%$* DOES A POTHOLDER HAVE TO DO WITH A DEAD BODY?????  
  
Tanuki: Dead bodies are too violent...  
  
*a poorly painted card board house is moved on stage*  
  
Tohru: oh look. A house where someone lives but I'm not supposed to  
know that...So I'm going to walk in and fall asleep.  
  
Kyo: *walks out* Snow white... let's get married. I love you.  
  
Yuki: *runs up too* Don't listen to him. I love you more than life  
itself, Snow white.  
  
Tohru: ...  
  
Kyo: NYAWWWWW!!!! YOU #%@&(*%!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT TO  
SNOW WHITE!!!!  
  
*the boys begin to fight. Tohru trips and falls onto the guys. They  
both immediately turned into animals*  
  
Kyo: meow....  
  
Yuki: ......  
  
Tohru: GOMEN! GOMEN! I RUINED THE SCENE!!!!!  
  
Yuki and Kyo: S'al right.  
  
*The boys glare at eachother and start fighting again*  
  
Tohru: um...  
  
Shigure: *now among the audiance* Ah! A young bishoujo!!! Hello miss.  
I write novels you know.  
  
*Shigure is punched and he rejectedly walks onto the stage. Tohru  
pretends to sleep on a bush*  
  
Shigure: *in tears* .....I am a chibi and this is my house...but you can  
stay here  
  
*Kagura and Hatori stand there refusing to say their lines*  
  
Kisa: *blush*  
  
Ayame: HA HA HA HHA HA HA HA!!!!!! TOHRUKUNCANSTAYINMYBED!!  
(translation: Tohru-kun can sleep in my bed) HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  
  
*Ayame is bombarded with tomatos and leaves the stage laughing*  
  
Haru: ...Kisa...take cover....  
  
*the audience goes crazy until Tanuki comes and throws a magic marker  
at the cardboard house*  
  
Tanuki: SHUT UP!!!!!!!! *everyone shuts up*  
  
~SCENE THREE~  
  
Tohru: This is fun living here with the chibis.  
  
Shigure: yes...*snvl*  
  
*Kyo throws a book at Shigure from back stage*  
  
Kyo: Stop with the crying! That girl would hate you anyway.  
  
*Shigure starts bawling and Tanuki has to comfort him because she  
thinks he's cute*  
  
Tohru: Ummm...My one wish is that a prince will come marry me because  
even though no one asked me I wanted to say that because I am a  
princess and princesses must marry princes....  
  
Ayame: I'll be your prince, Tohru-kun. *kisses Tohru*  
  
Tohru: *pale and sweating* ............  
  
Ayame: I was that good, eh? Yummy!  
  
Tanuki: YOU'RE RUINING MY SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CHIBI ISN'T SUPPOSED  
TO KISS THE PRINCESS.  
  
Tohru: Ayame-san.....  
  
Ayame: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! *talking fast*  
THEGLORIOUSFLAVOROFTOHRUKUN'SLIPSOHOHOHIT'SSOGOODTHEBEAUTIFULTOHRUKUNCH  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (Translation: The glorious flavor of Tohru-kun's  
lips. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's so good! The beautiful Tohru-kun!!!  
CHAAAAA!!!!)HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
Hana-chan: *walks out to Ayame and stares at him*  
  
Ayame: YEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!! *Ayame hops away*  
  
Tohru: Tanuki-san? Isn't the queen supposed to give Snow White a  
poisoned apple?  
  
Hana: ...........I ate it..........................  
  
Tanuki: I guess the scene is ruined....just go to the next.  
  
~SCENE THE LAST ONE~  
  
*Tohru is lying in a coffin*  
  
Tohru: I am dead so I'm not supposed to be talking but Hana ate the  
apple so I have to make up an excuse on how I 'died'....um....  
  
Shigure: *walks up to Tohru and whispers in her ear*  
  
Tohru: Oh! I got killed by a rabid animal such as a rabid deer...yes.  
  
*Kyo and Yuki enter*  
  
Kyo: *pushes Yuki out of the way* I get to give the life giving kiss to  
Snow White! MOVE!!!  
  
Yuki: You wouldn't dare touch Tohru-chan's lips!!!  
  
Kyo: NANI!??!?!?!? *takes a step, interlocks legs with Yuki and falls. So  
does Yuki*  
  
Yuki: WAHHH!!!!!  
  
Kyo: CHAAAA!!!!  
  
*they both fall on Tohru, unconcious and transformed*  
  
Tohru: Oh....I guess I have to give the life giving kiss now.  
  
*Tohru slowly picks Yuki up and kisses his forehead. Then she lifts up Kyo  
and kisses his forehead*  
  
Tohru: *huggles them* KAWAII!!!  
  
Hatori: .........pointless........I have work............*leaves*  
  
Kagura: YOU KISSED TOHRU!!!! EEEKKKKK!!! *hits an unconscious Kyo*  
  
Kyo: OWWW!!! ....*blush* Arigato...Tohru-chan....*Kyo stalks off*  
  
Yuki: Tohru-chan....*blush* *hugs Tohru's knee*  
  
*Yuki transforms back on top of Tohru*  
  
Tohru: YYYEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!  
  
Yuki: GOMEN!!!!!!!!  
  
*Yuki gets off immediately, gets dressed, and leaves blushing*  
  
Tanuki: ....Play over...  
  
Shigure: ^_^ TANUKI *squeaks Tanuki's ears*  
  
Tanuki: Bishounen! *hits Shigure lightly on the head*  
  
Shigure: *victory sign*  
  
Haru: ....The end....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author's note: Don't hate me or flame me because this was crazy and in  
script form. But please feel free to leave positive reviews. Arigato.  
Anyway, I hope you liked this. Thanks to Kougakisser-Ayameflamer for the  
main idea for this fic. (Ayameflamer doesn't mean Ayame from fruits  
basket..the Ayame from Inu-yasha) HOORAY FOR POINTLESS FICS!!! Ja ne 


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